I am writing now because I have just finished my midnight snack of juice and no-bakes and there is no way in this wide world that I am going back to sleep. Have you ever tried sleeping through a heat wave in a house that has no air conditioning? Doesn't really happen.
I know it's bad because A) I love sleep. Love it. B) My pin-straight hair is curling. CURLING. Not just frizzing, but spiraling out from my skull. C) I'm sweating, and weather.com is telling me that it is currently 87 degrees, feels like 94, in the postal code region of 49685.
Now I will subject you to nighttime ramblings.
The conversation came up in my house the other day if it is appropriate to use the bathroom facilities with the door open, if there was no one else in the house. One member said yes, another said that they do it when there are other family members in the house. My response was, "does that sound domesticated to you?" But of course, I think it's acceptable.
Another bathroom bungle; when you finish your duties and realize there is no toilet paper in the vicinity.
Attention people: it is our humanitarian duty to replace the roll after we have used the last of it. We have all been in this forsaken position of having "no roll," or being stuck with one lousy toilet paper leaf clinging to the cardboard roll for dear life. Because we all know what that feels like (humiliating, panic-ridden, mortifying, etc ;) replace the roll when it's on E. Especially if you are in another person's house.
If you are having trouble finding a graceful way to handle this situation, don't worry about it; simply ask for another roll. As my dear friend would say:
Remember, everybody poops.
Aren't you glad you clicked on this post?
Thursday, July 21
Tuesday, July 19
Nuking No-No
I was scolded the other day when I asked if I could put pizza wrapped in tin foil in the microwave.... it was a serious question. Apparently, you're not supposed to put metals of any kind in the microwave, a lesson which I should have learned a couple years ago.
I have been known to have the occasional fast food snack. Sometimes I can't help myself. One afternoon I made a stop to pick up one of my favorites, a double-stacked heart-attack from BK. Something came up, as usual, and I wasn't able to finish my on-the-go meal. This was back when burgers came wrapped in that foily stuff to keep them warm. Later that day when I got home, I wanted to finish my burger, so I threw it in the microwave and pressed the express-cook button. At this point, I know you are shaking your head at me. Blame my parents.
Anyway, as you probably predicted, the wrapper caught fire almost immediately and blue flames filled the nuke box. This is what happened:
I think it looks kind of artsy but my parents disagree.
For future reference, here is a list of things that should never ever ever go in the microwave, courtesy of Alyssa Hutton: 10 Things You Should Never Put in the Microwave
Notice how number one is tin foil....
My mother enjoyed this post because I cleaned the microwave to take a picture of it.
I have been known to have the occasional fast food snack. Sometimes I can't help myself. One afternoon I made a stop to pick up one of my favorites, a double-stacked heart-attack from BK. Something came up, as usual, and I wasn't able to finish my on-the-go meal. This was back when burgers came wrapped in that foily stuff to keep them warm. Later that day when I got home, I wanted to finish my burger, so I threw it in the microwave and pressed the express-cook button. At this point, I know you are shaking your head at me. Blame my parents.
Anyway, as you probably predicted, the wrapper caught fire almost immediately and blue flames filled the nuke box. This is what happened:
I think it looks kind of artsy but my parents disagree.
For future reference, here is a list of things that should never ever ever go in the microwave, courtesy of Alyssa Hutton: 10 Things You Should Never Put in the Microwave
Notice how number one is tin foil....
My mother enjoyed this post because I cleaned the microwave to take a picture of it.
Sunday, July 17
Broccoli Leaves
Well, this is slightly awkward, especially after my June Cleaver comment... I went to a wedding yesterday... and then worked on this scarf I'm currently knitting... way to eat your words, Audrey.
On a better note, my parents finally got home from vacation! No more disaster dinners! Although, there was this one little thing that happened....
Before they left me to fend for myself, my father told me about the wonderful lettuce that currently grows in our garden. He told me that it would be great if I could pick some and make salads while they were gone. I concurred. One fine day I had the sudden urge to make a salad (doesn't usually happen) and use the garden lettuce. So, me and my bare feet marched out to the garden, saw all the huge leafy-green plants and started picking away. I may have even started humming, I was having such a grand time.
Once inside, things kept coming up. The leaves sat on the counter for a couple of days, forgotten. It wasn't until my parents came home and noticed them that I remembered all the salads I had planned to make.
My dad said hello to me, gave me a big squeeze and looked at the lifeless, now crinkled pile of garden goods on the counter and said, "Why is there a pile of broccoli leaves in the kitchen?"
Broccoli. Leaves. Broccoli leaves. I had merrily picked a pile of broccoli leaves to put in a salad. I don't know if anyone knows the difference between broccoli leaves and lettuce leaves, but it is rather obvious. Like, here are two animals; which one is the elephant and which one is the house cat obviousness. In my defense, I wasn't shown what the garden leaves actually looked like before I was instructed to pick them. You would think I would have noticed the huge head of broccoli growing out from the center of the leaves.
No. I did not.
On a better note, my parents finally got home from vacation! No more disaster dinners! Although, there was this one little thing that happened....
Before they left me to fend for myself, my father told me about the wonderful lettuce that currently grows in our garden. He told me that it would be great if I could pick some and make salads while they were gone. I concurred. One fine day I had the sudden urge to make a salad (doesn't usually happen) and use the garden lettuce. So, me and my bare feet marched out to the garden, saw all the huge leafy-green plants and started picking away. I may have even started humming, I was having such a grand time.
Once inside, things kept coming up. The leaves sat on the counter for a couple of days, forgotten. It wasn't until my parents came home and noticed them that I remembered all the salads I had planned to make.
My dad said hello to me, gave me a big squeeze and looked at the lifeless, now crinkled pile of garden goods on the counter and said, "Why is there a pile of broccoli leaves in the kitchen?"
Broccoli. Leaves. Broccoli leaves. I had merrily picked a pile of broccoli leaves to put in a salad. I don't know if anyone knows the difference between broccoli leaves and lettuce leaves, but it is rather obvious. Like, here are two animals; which one is the elephant and which one is the house cat obviousness. In my defense, I wasn't shown what the garden leaves actually looked like before I was instructed to pick them. You would think I would have noticed the huge head of broccoli growing out from the center of the leaves.
No. I did not.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)