Official Farewell

I have noticed that people cringe when they hear me say the words, "I made ...(food)." Honestly, I don't blame (you) them.  Especially when things like dropping my phone into a hot pot of no-bakes happen. Yes, that happened recently.

There are 16 people who officially care about my take on all things non-domestic.  That, or you enjoy laughing at other people's misfortune and lack of skill so much that you would subscribe to posts about it. Either way, you 16 are enough.  You have shown me that yes, people care and yes, I am truly honestly the worst help in the kitchen.  In all seriousness, I want to thank you all for encouraging me to not be afraid to speak up, follow my dreams and above all, be myself. I'm getting mushy, I know, I'm sorry.  I really just want to say, thank you.

I'm retiring this blog for good, but I have something in the works that I'm hoping will bring you just as much joy and entertainment.

I call these Phoneless No Bakes

 

If I had addresses for all 16 of you, you would each receive a cookie.  But I don't. So you get to look at a picture of them.  But there's only 16 of you, so think of it like an exclusive club or something.

There was extra leftover in the pot. So yeah, I ate it with a spoon.

Love and deepest thanks to you all.

Bacon Cheddar Burgers

What do you do with leftover bacon? Whatever you want, but I decided to make venison burgers stuffed with bacon and sharp cheddar cheese. Your call.

I came to school this year armed with the best intentions of creating the greatest non-domestic goddess blog ever made, which means I brought with me several packages of ground venison.  It's a Prisk thing, and also, I'm not the biggest fan of beef. 

So I made some patties half the size of normal patties.  I shredded the cheese, cooked the rest of the bacon, and cut it into tiny pieces, and piled them in the middle of the little patties.  Then, I took another patty and put it on top.  Really scientific, I know....

Then, I cooked them!

I topped my burger with Muenster cheese and avocado, because I thought that sounded like something a domestic goddess would do.  I also cooked baked beans (which means I opened the can and poured them in a pan) for a side, and added one of daddy's home made garden-cucumber pickles.  And guess what.... I STILL had bacon leftover....

...so I made a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon on it...

In high school, my girlfriends and I had a go-to food that made our worst days tolerable.  It wasn't a pint of Ben & Jerry's or a bag of Oreos, it was a grilled cheese sandwich.  We would sit on the counter, ranting about the latest boy issue, homework assignment, future dilemma, parental problem, and anything else making our lives miserable, while someone made sandwiches and provided council.  

Ingredients:
- 2 different kinds of cheese (your favorite; I usually choose Muenster and Provolone)
- cream cheese
- bread
- butter
- 1 apple

Make the grilled cheese as usual, but spread cream cheese on both pieces of bread (the non-buttered side).  Slice the apple and while one side of the sandwich is cooking, place the apple slices in the pan.  Before putting the second piece of bread on top, place the cooked apple slices on top of the cheese.  Even if you don't like apples, you absolutely positively need to try putting cream cheese on your next grilled cheese.

If you're counting calories, find another blog.  I don't do math...

Bacon, Egg, and Toast Cups

I have come to terms with the fact that I am no Martha Stewart.  I understand that.  But just once I'd like to successfully cook one of her recipes.  Not to say that the BET cups were a complete disaster, a bit unorthodox in regards to the preparation, perhaps, but definitely no where near Martha status.

You'll see.

Things started to go wrong at step one.  This is my life.
Here is Martha's "step one"--

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Lightly butter 6 standard muffin cups. With a rolling pin, flatten bread slices slightly and, with a 4 1/4-inch cookie cutter, cut into 8 rounds. Cut each round in half, then press 2 halves into each muffin cup, overlapping slightly and making sure bread comes up to edge of cup. Use extra bread to patch any gaps. Brush bread with remaining butter.

Here is Audrey's "step one"--

Don't have a rolling pin? No problem! Stick the piece of bread in a sandwich bag and firmly press a jar of peanut butter back and forth across the bread until it's flattened.... Repeat until you have something that looks like this:

At this point, I wasn't too strict with myself as far as sticking to Martha's words of wisdom, especially after I realized I didn't have a cookie cutter or a butter brush.  Deciding not to dwell on what I didn't have, I moved on to cutting out the bread in my own creative way, and cooking the bacon, of which I had plenty.  Then, I stuffed the bread into muffin tins one at a time, placed a piece of bacon inside, and cracked an egg on top.

 

Martha said that I should bake them in the oven 20-25 minutes, or until "...the egg white are just set."  Just set.  Which means... what.  Just set?  How am I supposed to know when that happens?  Are the egg whites going to knock on the oven door and say, "Excuse me, Audrey? Yeah, we're just set in here, thanks."  What about just plain set?  I couldn't take them out then?  I panicked, and opened the oven door every five minutes to check on my setting egg whites.  The incessant door-opening probably had a lot to do with the way my BET cups turned out, which was like this:

 

Nice and... crispy.  Regardless of how the cups looked on the outside, they were actually very tasty and made the perfect accessory to a balanced breakfast of fresh fruit and homemade cinnamon rolls (made by the lovely Kaitlin Villines). 

  

Here's the recipe straight from M. Stewart herself - Bacon, Egg, and Toast Cups

Next post, you will get to see what I did with the leftover bacon...