Little Brother for Sale

He's stinky, he leaves his toys in my room and he drools all over the place.  Not too mention he insists upon sleeping in my bed every night and hogs the sheets.

His best qualities include his loyalty and easily excitable personality; all you have to do is change your voice pitch and he'll respond.  As far as domestication goes, he listens well and obeys instructions, but he will expect a treat for doing so.
He is the spoiled child of the family, which is to be expected because he is the baby.  He responds to Pup, Bro, Dog and anything else you say loudly in his direction, including Colt, which is his name. 
You only have to feed him twice a day....

Oh yeah. He's a dog.

But as far as payment goes, bartering is fine with me.

Let's just keep this between us....

How could you resist that face?

Midnight Snacks n' Stories

I am writing now because I have just finished my midnight snack of juice and no-bakes and there is no way in this wide world that I am going back to sleep.  Have you ever tried sleeping through a heat wave in a house that has no air conditioning?  Doesn't really happen.
I know it's bad because A) I love sleep. Love it. B) My pin-straight hair is curling. CURLING. Not just frizzing, but spiraling out from my skull. C) I'm sweating, and weather.com is telling me that it is currently 87 degrees, feels like 94, in the postal code region of 49685.

Now I will subject you to nighttime ramblings.

The conversation came up in my house the other day if it is appropriate to use the bathroom facilities with the door open, if there was no one else in the house.  One member said yes, another said that they do it when there are other family members in the house.  My response was, "does that sound domesticated to you?" But of course, I think it's acceptable.

Another bathroom bungle; when you finish your duties and realize there is no toilet paper in the vicinity.
Attention people: it is our humanitarian duty to replace the roll after we have used the last of it.  We have all been in this forsaken position of having "no roll," or being stuck with one lousy toilet paper leaf clinging to the cardboard roll for dear life.  Because we all know what that feels like (humiliating, panic-ridden, mortifying, etc ;) replace the roll when it's on E.  Especially if you are in another person's house.

If you are having trouble finding a graceful way to handle this situation, don't worry about it; simply ask for another roll.  As my dear friend would say:
Remember, everybody poops.

Aren't you glad you clicked on this post?

Nuking No-No

I was scolded the other day when I asked if I could put pizza wrapped in tin foil in the microwave.... it was a serious question.  Apparently, you're not supposed to put metals of any kind in the microwave, a lesson which I should have learned a couple years ago.

I have been known to have the occasional fast food snack.  Sometimes I can't help myself.  One afternoon I made a stop to pick up one of my favorites, a double-stacked heart-attack from BK.  Something came up, as usual, and I wasn't able to finish my on-the-go meal.  This was back when burgers came wrapped in that foily stuff to keep them warm.  Later that day when I got home, I wanted to finish my burger, so I threw it in the microwave and pressed the express-cook button.  At this point, I know you are shaking your head at me.  Blame my parents.

Anyway, as you probably predicted, the wrapper caught fire almost immediately and blue flames filled the nuke box.  This is what happened:

 I think it looks kind of artsy but my parents disagree.

For future reference, here is a list of things that should never ever ever go in the microwave, courtesy of Alyssa Hutton: 10 Things You Should Never Put in the Microwave

Notice how number one is tin foil....

My mother enjoyed this post because I cleaned the microwave to take a picture of it.