Bacon Cheddar Burgers

What do you do with leftover bacon? Whatever you want, but I decided to make venison burgers stuffed with bacon and sharp cheddar cheese. Your call.

I came to school this year armed with the best intentions of creating the greatest non-domestic goddess blog ever made, which means I brought with me several packages of ground venison.  It's a Prisk thing, and also, I'm not the biggest fan of beef. 

So I made some patties half the size of normal patties.  I shredded the cheese, cooked the rest of the bacon, and cut it into tiny pieces, and piled them in the middle of the little patties.  Then, I took another patty and put it on top.  Really scientific, I know....

Then, I cooked them!

I topped my burger with Muenster cheese and avocado, because I thought that sounded like something a domestic goddess would do.  I also cooked baked beans (which means I opened the can and poured them in a pan) for a side, and added one of daddy's home made garden-cucumber pickles.  And guess what.... I STILL had bacon leftover....

...so I made a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon on it...

In high school, my girlfriends and I had a go-to food that made our worst days tolerable.  It wasn't a pint of Ben & Jerry's or a bag of Oreos, it was a grilled cheese sandwich.  We would sit on the counter, ranting about the latest boy issue, homework assignment, future dilemma, parental problem, and anything else making our lives miserable, while someone made sandwiches and provided council.  

Ingredients:
- 2 different kinds of cheese (your favorite; I usually choose Muenster and Provolone)
- cream cheese
- bread
- butter
- 1 apple

Make the grilled cheese as usual, but spread cream cheese on both pieces of bread (the non-buttered side).  Slice the apple and while one side of the sandwich is cooking, place the apple slices in the pan.  Before putting the second piece of bread on top, place the cooked apple slices on top of the cheese.  Even if you don't like apples, you absolutely positively need to try putting cream cheese on your next grilled cheese.

If you're counting calories, find another blog.  I don't do math...

Bacon, Egg, and Toast Cups

I have come to terms with the fact that I am no Martha Stewart.  I understand that.  But just once I'd like to successfully cook one of her recipes.  Not to say that the BET cups were a complete disaster, a bit unorthodox in regards to the preparation, perhaps, but definitely no where near Martha status.

You'll see.

Things started to go wrong at step one.  This is my life.
Here is Martha's "step one"--

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Lightly butter 6 standard muffin cups. With a rolling pin, flatten bread slices slightly and, with a 4 1/4-inch cookie cutter, cut into 8 rounds. Cut each round in half, then press 2 halves into each muffin cup, overlapping slightly and making sure bread comes up to edge of cup. Use extra bread to patch any gaps. Brush bread with remaining butter.

Here is Audrey's "step one"--

Don't have a rolling pin? No problem! Stick the piece of bread in a sandwich bag and firmly press a jar of peanut butter back and forth across the bread until it's flattened.... Repeat until you have something that looks like this:

At this point, I wasn't too strict with myself as far as sticking to Martha's words of wisdom, especially after I realized I didn't have a cookie cutter or a butter brush.  Deciding not to dwell on what I didn't have, I moved on to cutting out the bread in my own creative way, and cooking the bacon, of which I had plenty.  Then, I stuffed the bread into muffin tins one at a time, placed a piece of bacon inside, and cracked an egg on top.

 

Martha said that I should bake them in the oven 20-25 minutes, or until "...the egg white are just set."  Just set.  Which means... what.  Just set?  How am I supposed to know when that happens?  Are the egg whites going to knock on the oven door and say, "Excuse me, Audrey? Yeah, we're just set in here, thanks."  What about just plain set?  I couldn't take them out then?  I panicked, and opened the oven door every five minutes to check on my setting egg whites.  The incessant door-opening probably had a lot to do with the way my BET cups turned out, which was like this:

 

Nice and... crispy.  Regardless of how the cups looked on the outside, they were actually very tasty and made the perfect accessory to a balanced breakfast of fresh fruit and homemade cinnamon rolls (made by the lovely Kaitlin Villines). 

  

Here's the recipe straight from M. Stewart herself - Bacon, Egg, and Toast Cups

Next post, you will get to see what I did with the leftover bacon...

Testing Your Patience

And the winner is...

Bacon, Egg and Toast Cups!!!

If that wasn't your first choice, I don't know what to tell you.  Maybe you should have taken this voting thing seriously.

I apologize for keeping you on the edges of your seats, but let me be real for a second: I'm really not sorry about it.  I love suspense and I love it when people read my blog.  More suspense = more readers.  So, please tell your friends and loved ones about the non-domestic goddess and give my equation some substance.

You're probably wondering, "If the toast cups won, then where are the toast cups?"  Let me explain..... I'M BUSY.  I wish that the only thing I ever had to do was come up with witty and entertaining blog posts, but that just isn't the case, and for this I truly do apologize.  Not only do I miss sharing my life with you, but I miss eating real food.  I only blog about my cooking after I've actually cooked something, which hasn't happened lately, and is why I am currently living out of a box of granola bars, Pop-Tarts and candy that my parents sent to me.  They are already aware of this fact.

Instead of focusing on food, I'll use this post as domestication time, because I know we could all use a little more of that in our lives.

Things Audrey Never Remembers

Or, if my father were to write this:

The World According to Audrey

• Dark clothes are washed with COLD water, not hot, because darkness is cold and light is warm.  And that is how I am going to remember that from now on.
• Painting your toes because you bite your nails is perfectly acceptable, just ask Blake Shelton.

Who Are You When I'm Not Looking - Blake Shelton

• Being able to find things in your room (even if it takes an hour or so) constitutes cleanliness.
• The days of the week are as follows:

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

but only if you have your planner or a friend to tell you what day it is, otherwise it's whatever day you want it to be.

• The refrigerator door can open AND close.
• Pancakes are suitable for every meal.
• Ladies, wear gloves.  It's chic.  I'm rather fond of this pair I picked up at an antique store for seven dollars this summer.

Not only do they look nice, but they keep your hands protected from fall's chilly breezes while you carry that coffee mug, umbrella or ________.  Those are the only two things I really ever carry, so fill in the blank with something of your own.  Gentlemen, when ladies wear gloves, notice.  They'll like that.

Spoiler Alert: Toast Cups coming soon.